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Krummin
Krummin is the only consensual slave of Crazynumnums. However, he does receive multiple 'free time' passes from him. In his free time Krummin enjoys fishing, playing Sims 4 with 'free will' disabled, and he has a not so healthy sexual obsession with orphans. He also has the largest dungeon by volume in the southern hemisphere, located underneath Brisbane city. It is 45 km (27.962 miles) across, 45 km (27.962 miles) wide and 45 km (27.962 miles) deep. This is the current residence of the ANDERSON BEAST, who he has chained to a rusted pole (highly insufficient for a multi-dimensional, immortal deity). He has on average 55 orphans in the dungeon at a given time. The orphans were just a hobby that started (with the encouragement from Billy Jack Marsh) in 2012 but quickly escalated to a multi-billion dollar business venture. Most, after they reach the age of thirteen (which is widely agreed as the age of least pleasure), are sold as child brides or if they can't sell are fed to the ANDERSON BEAST, commonly referred to as just 'the beast'. Biography He was born in July in the summer/winter of '86. Krummin woke to the sound of a nuclear attack siren on the moon. So his parents haphazardly threw together a space capsule (without life support) and sent him to Earth. On his journey while Krummin was suffocating he was caught in a wormhole and transported back in time from 3086 to 1986. He lived off hitchhiking on Woolworths trucks (because for some reason Woolworths doesn't want homeless people going through their old off food so they securely transport it to a mysterious area 51 like base somewhere in the middle of the Simpson desert). As he was walking down the road one night he was hit by a magical ball of light and knocked unconscious. As he was sleeping he dreamed of future bacon, future memes and the fascism takeover lead by the Great Globglogabgalab. When Krummin woke he was inside a box covered in bubble wrap and filled with onion gravy, although later when being questioned he stated that, "Later I found out that the gravy was supposed to taste like onions but it really tasted a lot like con--". The rest of the audio was cut out due to the screams of the CIA officers as their a**holes were bleached by the sponge that Crazynumnums bestowed upon Krummin, so he could escape authorities. The two formed an uneasy partnership with one another. Krummin has a naturally submissive personality, meaning that it was in his nature to instantly submit to Crazynumnums. Initially, Crazynumnums didn't want this, and the fights began, climaxing with Crazynumnums literally throwing Krummin to the other side of the world. There, he forged a nice relationship with a remote African tribe, and even found his first wife there. Unfortunately, he couldn't keep her, as his pining for his master drove a wedge between the couple, and the relationship ended with her ripping out his lip plate, and telling him he was no longer welcome to live with them. Krummin, assuming it had something to do with his skin colour (vomit green) went on a murderous rampage and completely exterminated the tribe, before committing the first of many necrophilic acts. After this, he posed as a pilot at the nearest airport and flew away as quickly as possible. Unfortunately for him, he had no idea how to land a plane, and he crashed it into two towers that he did not recognise. He was the only survivor of the event, but he immediately asked himself, "Why can't I die?" And it was then that his master, Crazynumnums, came floating back to him. Crazynumnums told him that it was impossible to die with a negative age, and because he had been sent back in time, he couldn't die for the next 1075 years. Understanding this, Krummin began to weep, for he realised that his life had no other purpose. Crazynumnums, in a rare moment of pity, allowed Krummin to serve him. Together they have created the greatest orphan sex slave business on the planet. Krummin's subservience has been unwavering for the last five years, and he has made millions of dollars in doing so, while serving his happiest purpose in serving two immortal deities (Crazynumnums and THE ANDERSON BEAST). Krummin did find an orphan that he was particularly fond of, and requested a credible clergyman, Crazynumnums, to marry them both, he immediately fed all of her to THE ANDERSON BEAST, excluding her genitalia, buttocks, breasts, feet, and ear holes. Trivia * He once used a child to do his tax returns for him. * He spent 33 days stuck in a box, covered in bubble wrap and filled with onion gravy. * He spent 34 days in a wormhole. * Krummin once flew a B52 bomber to Japan only to find out that the Americans got there first. * Over his lifetime, he has owned a total of 5648 different orphans over his lifetime, and has even partaken to killing parents just to get more. Quotes "Yes." "No, loaf bloke. That isn't what I asked for, why can't YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME!!!!!!!" "Is a dildo a toy?? Is it sentient?" Relationships * ''Crazynumnums - ''Krummin has one eternal lord, and his name is Crazynumnums. Krummin has devoted his entire life to the service of Crazynumnums and his own orphan trading business, and after Crazynumnums offered to help, they never looked back, as slave and god rode the waves to success, wealth, and prosperity. Originally Crazynumnums was reluctant to be a friend for Krummin, but he was eventually won over by the devotion of Krummin. * ''Loaf Bloke - ''In the hierarchy, Loaf Bloke is the lowest of the low. Even Krummin rules over him (at least for now) and the domestic violence that has ensued from Krummin has caused severe psychological trauma. Krummin and Loaf Bloke went to couples counselling but the unsuspecting beings had their penises whacked off.